i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
