This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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