just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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