The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize