I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
