Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
