Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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