...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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