Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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