You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
