Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
