I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
