Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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