It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
