hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
