i need an iv and a liver transplant
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
