I cockslap morals
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
