i already hear my dad disowning me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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