the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
