I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
