I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
