drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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