I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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