I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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