Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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