I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
