I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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