I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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