I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
