Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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