I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize