Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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