The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
