This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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