No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
