You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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