I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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