I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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