dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
