i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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