Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am spending my child support on dildos
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize