everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Watching her eat just hurts me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
