So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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