p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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