The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
