Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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