is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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