He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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