Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
