the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize