From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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