I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I cockslap morals
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
