Me. At least after what I've been through.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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