dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
