At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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