So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize