i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Success! We fucked roommates!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
